Silence Can Be a Virtue

Much of social media is devoted to a ‘my experience’ style of conversation. In some ways functioning as a public diary, its pages have become a convenient receptacle for otherwise internal thoughts, musings, admissions, and admonitions. Which produces a bit of a two-edged sword. 

While it — I believe, correctly — bolsters the idea that everyone has something valuable to add in the marketplace ideas, it misleads us into thinking this should be universally applied to all subjects. Or stated more plainly: yes, everyone ‘has something to say’…but not necessarily something to say about each and every subject that comes up. 

But because we’ve overemphasized the value of our opinions to such a degree that we feel entitled - or even pressured - to opine on just about everything, it results in us running our mouths (or keyboards, as the case may be) on things we don’t know anything about. Or at least, we don’t know anything about beyond our own experiences. 

I’ve read several posts in the last 48 hours on various mental health themes that exemplify this point. Well meaning folks sharing their own experience, which is fine, but then either implying or flat-out declaring that this is how it should be for everyone else. Worse yet, much of what I’ve read is complete nonsense, entirely disconnected from any form of science, and at times outright harmful and counterproductive. 

Experience is wonderful. But it is limited to you and heavily biased by your perceptions. To assume that your experience is, or should be, true of everyone else is a form of self-delusion. Additionally, to elevate your opinion, when based exclusively on personal experience, to a place of equality with measurable, observable, statistical evidence is good old fashioned narcissism. 

So what’s the point I’m circling here? 

Before you render opinions on an endless array of topics publicly, ask yourself what you have to add to the conversation that would otherwise be missed if you were silent. And then go a step further and consider if your experience may be the anomaly rather than the rule. 

Your opinion matters to you, but only applies directly to others so far as there is something concrete backing it up. Not all opinions are equal. 

One of my favorite quotes is from Jordan Peterson who said: “When you have something to say, silence is a lie.” 

I agree 100%. 

Now let’s take it a step further: If your words add no value beyond making you feel self-important, silence is a virtue.

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